I turn 34 in 2 days. Nope it still doesn't make sense even if I type it!
Those 34 years are thought of in 2 VERY different ways.
I spent my childhood..happy..carefree..in the arms of people who loved me dearly.
I spent my adolescents being very angry and self destructive.
Funny how things come full circle.
It's time...to forgive myself..for not being so forgiving for so many years.
It isn't easy...forgiveness. It's feels like you're saying the things you've done were okay. That all the tears and all the pain was worth it.
I've been told to have no regrets....everything that has happened has made me who I am today...but the truth is I believe today I am the person I was always meant to be. All the crap was just me not forgiving and being the victim. How did that happen?
So at 34...do I have regrets.....YES I do....and I should!
BUT 34 is no 23 and I've got to start living! I've got to move forward and forgive. I know that if I don't I'm creating a vicious circle. If I could have anything it would be to have the people who love me the most to have piece of mind and to think of me fondly!
So on my birthday...FEBRUARY 1ST...I'm going to list 34 things that I will do in the next year.
It will be sort of my Karma list. My Name is Earl kind of thing!
Each one will have a meaning to me or to someone I love and I will tackle each of those things with the hope of going back to that "No Regrets" mantra that my family lives by!
