Great website

So I get a link to this website through yahoo so you may have already been or seen this website, but it has some really great stuff in it!!

It's in my favorites

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/

Fall Stuff

So I want to become a little more fashion forward with my new attitude towards being healthy.

Cuz we all know when you look good you feel GREAT!!! So here are some things I've been reading about that's going to be HOT for this fall!!

Ankle Booties - I will have me a pair of these this year - Forever 21 has some really cute ones that are really affordable - $27.80!! HELLO!!

Cute Right!!!!

I definitley have to UP my accessory wall at home.....I guess from having NONE I can't go anywhere, but UP!!

Basically my jewelry collection is so none existent. I am in desperate need of some cute bracelet's, rings, earrings, you name it I need it.

I found this cute store in Corpus called Dusty's. It's wall to wall accessories in every size, shape and color!! Not to mention super cute hand bags and wallets!! Definitley plan on making some trips to that store soon

Next is a jacket. I want a really cute business-y one this year. Forever 21 is again your one-stop shop for things like this. They have every kind of jacket you could imagine and most of them are under $30.00!! I KNOW!!!

I am in the midst of looking for some jeans that actually fit right - The ones I always end up buying either stretch out so much they are unreconizable or they shrink so much they aren't long enough. Hailey really wants me to try skinny jeans - not sure about that. The whole "poured" into your pants look is way beyond me, but we'll see!!!

That's it for now - When I find some other cute stuff I'll definitley post them!!!

Please do the same :)

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells

The holidays are coming and to be honest I'm scared.

I've been working so hard...SO HARD on losing this extra weight and I have this horrible deep rooted feeling that once the weather gets cold and the holidays roll around it's all going to go down the tubes. Kind of like food down my throat....uugghhh

My biggest down fall is sweets. I just learned, recently I may add, that I get that lovely little trait from my father...thanks Dad

It's bad...I would live off of them if I could...seriously.

So my new expedition is to find new and tasty ways to not deprive myself of this "addiction" for the holidays.

Hailey and I love to cook together so we're going to make a list of sweets to make for the holidays that won't have me crying about my "genes" into the New Year.

Here are some of the things I'm going to try this year....

Rocky Road Fudge
Serving Size: 1 square Calories:73 Fat: 15.5g Fiber: 1g Sugars: 10g Protein

Cheesecake Brownie

Serving Size: 1 brownie Calories: 133 Fiber: 1.5g Sugars: 8g Protein: 3g

Going to look for a low fat recipe for Green Bean Casserole...that's Hailey's favorite!!

Going to try and record some videos of hailey and I cooking this year....stay tuned!!

Why we moved here

Ok maybe not so much this.....



but definitley this

Self Pity Bullsh#*

So I feel like I need a change in my life - I'm 32 years old and I'm not anywhere near where I want to be in life.

Let me explain that sentence -

My need for change is strictly mental!!

No, I didn't say I was mental......wait....did I?

I have a beautiful child whom I love and adore tremendously!! I have a man in my life that, next to Hailey, is the greatest thing EVER!!! He really is...I couldn't have cut him out of a mold myself and him turn out so good!!!

For whatever reason my self esteem, at time, can be really low. I acknowledge it; I just don't have the tools to change it.

Until now

I was watching Biggest Loser the other night, the first episode, and they have a woman on there who weighs 460 pounds. HOLY CRAP that's HUGE. She found herself smack dab in the middle of her first workout; probably in her life and she wanted to quite. She said she just couldn't do it anymore. Jillian's response was so powerful:

She screamed "I'm not going to play into your self pity bullshit" "It's a choice....it's a choice to get on the treadmill or not...to weigh 460 pounds or 160 pounds...it isn't about can or can't it's about do or don't" She told the woman there is a whole story inside of you that you are the way you are and you can't keep choosing to do nothing about it.

WOW; right???

I spend a lot of time not doing things and wallowing in my own self pity.

A lot of it has to do with the fact that I screwed off my 20s and I'm totally paying for that in my 30s in more ways than one. My credit is shot to hell and that alone is something that holds me back BIG TIME!!! I'm a mother and "wife" and my capability to provide for them is severely hindered because of that. My obsession over my weight is out of control and that keeps me from doing things that I really want to do.

So all of that negative "self talk" is my absolute biggest problem right now. It keeps me from eating right and exercising consistently. It keeps me from moving forward in my education and employment goals. It's horrible and until recently I allowed it to control my life.

Well it's time to make a choice.

My choice is to STOP with all this nonsense and self pity. All it does is give me an excuse to be in the situation I've been in for the past how may years? It's enough.

My life is great...I have a man who I love....my daughter is healthy....I have the best family in the world...it's time to start appreciating what I do have and working towards what I don't.

Ahhhhh ***sigh of relief****

It's not going to be easy to get to where I want to be in life, but HELLO DEVON who ever said it would be!!!

Did everyone know what a BRAT I can be???? Dang why didn't someone tell me..wink wink

What a Weekend

Who knew so many things could happen in a 3 day weekend!!!

Volleyball.....Flu.....Fish......

Whew I'm tired just thinking about it

Volleyball

So Hailey had her first Volleyball tournament this past weekend...Friday night we were there til about 8ish and then she was back on the bus at 7:15 the next morning. What a trooper she has become!!! I've seen Hailey excited to wake up that early for 2 things in her entire life.....Six Flags and Volleyball....gotta love it!!

So she had sleep over Saturday night...Lily and Carol......which means all night screaming, laughing, making videos and eating as much sugar as their little stomach's can stomach!!!

Each year with Hailey's life their is a new joy with watching her grow. It's the first time she laughs, her first word, her first step and you wonder how much better can it get.

Well let me tell you; laying in bed listening to her laugh so hard you wonder if she is going to pee her pants with girls who you hope love her as much as they should; is a feeling that fills me with such happiness. Hearing her be so happy that she literally sounds like she is going to burst is absolutley amazing.

Ya know I think I'm going to secretly tape them one night. Tape them just being goofy 13 year old girls laughing in a way that they could NEVER fake. Then maybe if life ever seems so hard on her that she can't see the light; I'll play that tape of her just being Hailey and maybe she'll remember that life isn't always so bad.

Flu

Well then Sunday afternoon Hailey started coughing a little and she swore..."I'm NOT GETTING SICK" well about 2 1/2 hours after that statment came this one....

"Mom; I think I'm sick"

Uhh-huhhh!!! So she went down for the count. Ran about 102.6 fever and finally took her to the doctor and sure enough...it's the FLU!!! Dang it. She'll miss her game tonight and practice tomorrow, but her coach said they are missing 5 girls due to the same stuff. At least when she's running laps to make it up she won't be alone.

Good 'ole school sports...You play you pay!!!

Fish

Jason did get some fishing in; finally. He went early Sunday morning for about 4-5 hours and then again Monday morning for most of the day. Caught some incredible Whiteing (spell check please!!!) on PINS...other than that just a killer sunburn. On Monday they went out on a friends boat looking to shoot some stingray with a bow for Sharkathon bait....instead they ran into a school of Red Fish!!!

Needless to say; we ate like KINGS.

Pictures to come

Oh and what about me you ask.....well Friday night after the Vball tourney...I did make it out to the Island to see the Bunco girls!! I am an official member by the way so I'll be hosting it at our house pretty soon.

Note to self: time to go shopping for the house and cover up the swatches of paint that are on the kitchen wall!!! geez

Saturday was more Vball and the girls showed up. I did manage to get in my first run on Sunday morning.....ran about 2 1/2 miles by Hailey's school and man did it feel GREAT!!! No Ipod; just me and my gasps of breathe trying to just make the route I had already planned out in the car. If I do say so myself; I did really good and I was pretty proud of myself for just doing it!!! More of that to come I'm sure of it!!!

Other than that when you have a house full of girls and a sick kid not much you can do about it. But I can't complain to much....cuz

What a Weekend!!!

What had happened was....

I posted the last blog about me taking control.....Well what had happened was....

LUNCH

You see I had to go to the Spirit Shop at the High School - this is place where we buy all of Hailey's Flour Bluff inspired shirts, shoes, bags they have it all - So I went by and grabbed Jason on the way. We contimplated several places to go have lunch and we decided a salad sounded really good!!!


We ended up at a place called George's - this place is not a chain and not fancy by any means, but we hadn't been there so we thought what the heck. Ordered a chef salad which consisted of Lettuce, Tomatoes, Eggs, Provolone cheese, Black Olives and Ham


"What kind of dressing would you like" - Ranch please....

wait did I just say that...

So out comes this medium size salad and this LARGE BOWL of homemade ranch dressing and crackers!!! CRAP

So I ate my weight in crackers and dressing and all I can say is CRAP -

Guess I'll start tomorrow...

Thanks Aubrey!!!

I'm sick and tired of complaining about my weight loss. It's annoying...I feel so bad for Jason and Hailey; you would to if you lived with me. So I'm taking control of my own destiny.

Aubrey has inspired me to stop doing what is comfortable and get off my a** and do it for real. No more jogging on the treadmil and taking breaks if I start to pant - that's when you know you're just getting started....dang it; I know that - but for some reason after about a minute I end up dropping that 5.0 to a 3.4 and THEN I strut like a peacock showing off her feathers; proud of my accompishment.

Well I'm NOT. It's been about a year of me working out 5 days a week and I've dropped about 20 pounds. 20 pounds is great, I'm not knocking that, but I know if I would push myself I would be where I want to be.

It's not about being skinny, but it is about me feeling good about myself. I freakin live at the beach and I need to be able to say "Let's go to the beach, Let's go kayacking" and right now I can't and don't say that. I would be so much happier with myself if I would JUST DO IT!!

I'm going to do cardio 3 days a week at work and 2 days outside of work.... Pilates 2 days a week
I need a good strength training program and I'll look at my Fitness magazine for help with that.

I'll share any good stuff I find!!!!



Thanks Aubrey